what the fun-gus?

So after a couple of weeks of feeling ill (tired, coughing, sore throat, headache, menamen) and having this ever-increasing red spot appear on my neck, a woman at work yesterday said, “it’s a fungus.” She said it simply as if she pointed at the sky and remarked, “there are clouds”.

“FUNGUS!?” I asked, very much alarmed. “What do I do? How did I get it? It’s from those walking diseases we call children, isn’t it?”

“It’s probably from some child that kissed you and they had a fungus on their lips. Just put some nech shinkurt on it when you get home.”

Suddenly this red spot that had been mildly annoying made me feel like I was disgusting.

I got home, walked straight to the fridge, sliced open a piece of garlic and applied it directly to my hideousness. Take that, fungi!

Ironically, my favourite joke has to do with fungus.

A mushroom walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “hey, you can’t come in here.”

“Why not? I’m a fun guy.”

The garlic hasn’t worked. I have an appointment with a dermatologist tomorrow.